Pop Quiz

[As featured on The Evitable, a far-from-famous blogspot]

1. Is there any truth to the rumour you're the ghost of Paul McCartney?
a. yes
b. no
c. excuse me?
d. we've been having a lot of weather lately

2. How many roads must a man walk down
a. before his shoes wear out
b. before 6 a.m. on a Tuesday
c. before the world comes to an end by a process of natural erosion
d. before it occurs to the moron to ask for fucking directions already

3. Paris Hilton was given time off for
a. good behaviour
b. majorly doing the presiding judge
c. ewww! he had hair growing out of both nostrils and ears
d. frequent flier miles

4. Five hours stalled in an elevator
a. turn off the muzak!!!
b. excuse me Ms Aguilera/Mr Law, why are you stripping?
c. don't you know there's serious air conditioning in this pneumatic shaft?
d. yes, I suppose a pair of black briefs would effectively blind the security camera
e. could you pipe in Lous Armstrong's 'What a Wonderful World' please?
f. yes I'd say the temperature's been adequately raised


Bonus question
a. elephants never forget
b. goldfish have an effective memory of five seconds
c. what do you get when you mate an elephant and a goldfish, apart from seriously damp?


{Feel free to come up with your own answers to any of these, so long as you letter them sequentially. Rules were not made to be discarded, let alone cast to the winds by however indifferent or disaffected a populace}

C 2007 Martin Heavisides