June 5, 2007

Corgi Balls

A British artist ate a plate of meatballs made from a Corgi to protest animal cruelty--and this was kind to the Corgi how? In his defence, he did say, and I'm inclined to believe him, that the Corgi died a natural death. Most people who hunt Corgi in their wild state are more interested in the pelt and fur than the meat, which the artist confirmed had a terrible taste. Now we don't have to worry about any but fast food emporia moving in on the market on Corgie as snack food (fries with that?).

The reason a Corgi was selected--and this leaves a little room for doubt concerning the natural death hypothesis--is that it's Queen Elizabeth's favourite dog, and the artist was protesting the fact that Prince Philip wasn't charged by the SPCA--do they have legal authority?--in the recent premeditated killing of a fox. The Queen has owned more than 30 Corgis during her reign--more than thirty? Now wait a minute I know she's reigned a long time, but that still works out to less than a two year life span on average. What dark secrets, small animal yelps in the middle of the night, does the Palace conceal? No, I know what it is--she keeps them in batches. Maybe a different Corgi for each day of the week--who could tell one from another anyway? I'm sure no Corgi in Queen Elizabeth's care has ever met but a natural end.

I seriously hope no rival artist decides to try a hand at whipping up a batch of fox sausages.

This artist's next project, apparently, is to lock himself in a box, buried in mashed potatoes. Should somebody contact the SPCV?

C 2007 Martin Heavisides

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